You have an amazing evening, filled with easy conversation and laughter. You close the restaurant, end with a goodnight kiss, and a promise to do this again soon. In fact, you do a little more than that, but hold a little bit back. He says good night and tells you he’ll call the next day. As a result of this wishful thinking, Sandy was as hurt by this man’s simple email as she would have been if they’d been dating and broken up. She could have that sick feeling in the pit of her stomach and lose sleep over how she’s going to replace him. As a result, Sandy wasn’t “losing” anything; she never had anything to lose. It’s not that Sandy was wrong to look at all the available signs and conclude that she had special connection with a special guy.
Until then, each promising man is not actually “real.” He is merely hope, potential and fantasy.
Remembering this will save you a TREMENDOUS amount of trouble when you’re dating online.
You want to know why your heart gets broken each time a new guy disappears?
It’s not because you’re a fool for believing that good men exist. He seemed so great, so perfect, so kind, so consistent. If this story feels familiar to you, it’s because it’s familiar to EVERYONE.
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